Nobody Wants This, the Netflix rom-com about a rabbi and an atheist podcaster, is being hailed by denizens of the internet as the epitome of the healthy relationship we all deserve.

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In reality, it’s a depiction of how insidiously sexism is still baked into modern relationships. More charitably, it’s an unconscious reflection of how women still don’t ask for enough, even when they think they are. Either way, it’s a portrait of how women still don’t have it all.

[Warning: Spoilers incoming.]

Our star-crossed lovers are Joanne (Kristen Bell), who runs a sex and relationships podcast with her sister, and Noah (Adam Brody), a rabbi full of wisecracks who is expected to date Jewish if he wants to get promoted. Noah is as adorable as a puppy, and just like an adorable puppy he manages to crap everywhere and get away with it.

We learn Joanne has a troubled relationship history and thinks she’s emotionally over the top—but she’s managed to monetize her crazy, which is more than most of us can say. And by monetize, I mean Spotify wants to acquire her podcasts for millions.

Enter Noah. Noah’s just broken off a three-year relationship with his Jewish girlfriend, Rebecca, without much of an explanation. Instead of considering what he wants from his life, or why his relationship with Rebecca fell through, he dives head-first into a relationship with Joanne, who is not Jewish and tells him multiple times that she doesn’t want messy.

The show doesn’t call Noah out on bad decision-making and failing to use his words, or how this plunges Rebecca and Joanne into a morass of insecurity. It does cast Joanne as an irresponsible wreck, however, with Noah being the paragon who is too good for her. In episode three, her sister points out they are a weird pairing because Noah seems “responsible and kind” and Joanne is “sort of a bad person relative to a man of God.” Meanwhile, Esther, Noah’s sister-in-law who best friends with Rebecca, treats Joanne terribly without directing her anger toward the real culprit for Rebecca’s heartbreak: Noah, the man of God who apparently can’t have a hard conversation.

But Joanne is the one with emotional issues? Okay, go on then.

The punches keep coming, but the show hits rock bottom during episode five, when Joanne skips a meeting with Spotify to accompany Noah on a work trip (teaching teens Talmud at camp). Securing the deal means guaranteed salaries for Joanne and her team, but she wants to be with Noah, and decides her irresponsible sister can hold down fort at the meeting.